Friday, March 31, 2006
~listening to my favourite song now...
i realised i`ve been blogging alot lately. i discovered that i can only confide in my blog recently. my world is so empty nowadays. i can give advices to the problems my friends are facing and wake them up. all but myself. i`ve learnt to voice my feelings out but i have`nt learnt the profound art of counselling myself. it`s similar to opening the door to allow visitors in but never ever will i step out. i`m so tired. i want to lay myself down to sleep. a peaceful sleep that will never requires me to reopen my eyes again, to see the ugly side of the world. sorry, i don`t need any reprimands or consolations from anyone. i`m insignificant to the world, so just let me be. i`m shivering. i won`t allow my tears to flow and my fears to overturn me. i`m really stretched to the far limit, petrified.
everyday, i reached home in the wee hours. scolded by my parents for upteem times already. bacause they do not understand the reasons behind it. i felt real bad. i want to make myself real tired, till i can`t take it anymore so i can have a better sleep. to drift me away from the reality that`s torturing me. take me away, take me home...
growing up is hard. i`m left with little strength to carry myself through the journey anymore...
anonymous asked who i waiting for. is that still important??? he won`t come back anymore i know. thanks for your concern.
raymond probably kena dengue fever `cos his brother kena now. hopefully he don`t wait and wait for someone to bring him to the doctor. don`t put his life at risk. aiya, nobody bring you to doctor i bring you. come come good boy come. LOL!! take care bud!
family plays a very crucial role in moulding a child`s character. don`t blame the child after he or she grows up for the way she behaves. it`s because of the amount of attention and love he or she received when the child is at a young age. GP taught me that, and i think it`s true. well, everyone needs love i supposed. devote some time to them. no matter how strong they look, you won`t know if it`s just a mask. take time to understand them. there are no such things like people can`t get along well, it`s a matter of whether you take the time and effort to build the bond. everyone can do it. =)))
wo she bu de fang, dan shi wo you neng zeng yang??? wo yi jing wu fa zai zhi zao qi ji le, ta bu zhen xi wo yi wu ke nai he...*
^ni hai ai wo ma? hao xiang ting ni zhen shi de hui da..^
i know i will never hear it though it`s still not too late... ='(((
5:58 PM
~listening to my favourite song now...
i realised i`ve been blogging alot lately. i discovered that i can only confide in my blog recently. my world is so empty nowadays. i can give advices to the problems my friends are facing and wake them up. all but myself. i`ve learnt to voice my feelings out but i have`nt learnt the profound art of counselling myself. it`s similar to opening the door to allow visitors in but never ever will i step out. i`m so tired. i want to lay myself down to sleep. a peaceful sleep that will never requires me to reopen my eyes again, to see the ugly side of the world. sorry, i don`t need any reprimands or consolations from anyone. i`m insignificant to the world, so just let me be. i`m shivering. i won`t allow my tears to flow and my fears to overturn me. i`m really stretched to the far limit, petrified.
everyday, i reached home in the wee hours. scolded by my parents for upteem times already. bacause they do not understand the reasons behind it. i felt real bad. i want to make myself real tired, till i can`t take it anymore so i can have a better sleep. to drift me away from the reality that`s torturing me. take me away, take me home...
growing up is hard. i`m left with little strength to carry myself through the journey anymore...
posted by SERENiFiED PRiNCESS on 5:58 PM
2:24 AM
anonymous asked who i waiting for. is that still important??? he won`t come back anymore i know. thanks for your concern.
raymond probably kena dengue fever `cos his brother kena now. hopefully he don`t wait and wait for someone to bring him to the doctor. don`t put his life at risk. aiya, nobody bring you to doctor i bring you. come come good boy come. LOL!! take care bud!
family plays a very crucial role in moulding a child`s character. don`t blame the child after he or she grows up for the way she behaves. it`s because of the amount of attention and love he or she received when the child is at a young age. GP taught me that, and i think it`s true. well, everyone needs love i supposed. devote some time to them. no matter how strong they look, you won`t know if it`s just a mask. take time to understand them. there are no such things like people can`t get along well, it`s a matter of whether you take the time and effort to build the bond. everyone can do it. =)))
wo she bu de fang, dan shi wo you neng zeng yang??? wo yi jing wu fa zai zhi zao qi ji le, ta bu zhen xi wo yi wu ke nai he...*
^ni hai ai wo ma? hao xiang ting ni zhen shi de hui da..^
i know i will never hear it though it`s still not too late... ='(((
posted by SERENiFiED PRiNCESS on 2:24 AM
Thursday, March 30, 2006
superbly tired after going to the gym with cf.. I WANT TO SLEEP! haha!!!
to dar winnie: cherish dearly what you have on hand and don`t let go before before it slips away. sometimes it`s worthwhile to make abit of sacrifices. i`m not reprimanding you right now. i don`t deserve the rights to. he`s feeling so terrible you know, he tells me he feels like crying. girl, a love is not meant to be destroyed. it`s to be nurtured into a strong one. one which is able to withstand stormy weathers. it takes 2 hands to clap, the same thing, it takes 2 hearts to build a love. you gotta set aside your pride sometimes. you yourself want to mend the cracks i believe, don`t drag it on anymore. don`t hurt each others` feelings anymore. i know what i say perhaps does`nt make sense to you. but i seriously hope you will give them a penny for your thoughts. you are my best friend. i lost my happiness, i want to see you keep it. you are happy i am happy. =))) don`t live to regret when you lose it. i also don`t know how to help anymore. i just feel so upset `cos i fully understand the feeling of lost.
thanks raymond for telling me the story of yue lao. i don`t know why i felt so much consoled after hearing it. to raymond: you will find her in due time. maybe not now, but in the near future. thanks for your testimonial also. =)))
and for terry, it`s so scary. raymond just asked about him and he called!!! can 4D be as accurate as this??? lolSs... raymond asked me to be careful, well, who`s afraid of the big bad wolf. tra-la-la-la... maybe he should read my profile here. i`m single but NOT available. not to him at least. lols.. if he comes then i'll just borrow raymond's parang!!! so he better beware!!!
*pigging* oinksSs.. i wish for...
starry-eyed...
anyways welcome back zhutou!
2:32 PM
superbly tired after going to the gym with cf.. I WANT TO SLEEP! haha!!!
to dar winnie: cherish dearly what you have on hand and don`t let go before before it slips away. sometimes it`s worthwhile to make abit of sacrifices. i`m not reprimanding you right now. i don`t deserve the rights to. he`s feeling so terrible you know, he tells me he feels like crying. girl, a love is not meant to be destroyed. it`s to be nurtured into a strong one. one which is able to withstand stormy weathers. it takes 2 hands to clap, the same thing, it takes 2 hearts to build a love. you gotta set aside your pride sometimes. you yourself want to mend the cracks i believe, don`t drag it on anymore. don`t hurt each others` feelings anymore. i know what i say perhaps does`nt make sense to you. but i seriously hope you will give them a penny for your thoughts. you are my best friend. i lost my happiness, i want to see you keep it. you are happy i am happy. =))) don`t live to regret when you lose it. i also don`t know how to help anymore. i just feel so upset `cos i fully understand the feeling of lost.
thanks raymond for telling me the story of yue lao. i don`t know why i felt so much consoled after hearing it. to raymond: you will find her in due time. maybe not now, but in the near future. thanks for your testimonial also. =)))
and for terry, it`s so scary. raymond just asked about him and he called!!! can 4D be as accurate as this??? lolSs... raymond asked me to be careful, well, who`s afraid of the big bad wolf. tra-la-la-la... maybe he should read my profile here. i`m single but NOT available. not to him at least. lols.. if he comes then i'll just borrow raymond's parang!!! so he better beware!!!
*pigging* oinksSs.. i wish for...
starry-eyed...
anyways welcome back zhutou!
posted by SERENiFiED PRiNCESS on 2:32 PM
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
out of bounds by leaps*
*yi bo wei ping yi bo you qi
i've had enough, there`s nothing i can do or say.
thanks for the consolation raymond. i know you meant well apart from the lousy jokes. yu jia and angela also, sorry to make you both suffer with me. dar, cheer up, don`t keep things from me, we are best friends okay???
the events flowed just like a drama serial. what a rundown!!! these do happen in reality. i believe now. am i cursed or what??? i`m washed out emotionally and physically. what do i intend to do? well seriously i`m lost too. i don`t know either. where is the multi-storey carpark???
busy as a bumble bee today. anyhow, i got my goodie bag!! nice nice!! went bugis with angela, yu jia and natalie cutie pie. haha!!! we went to take photos and well, i`m so surprised how marvellous she`s at in posing for the camera, should learn from her in the future. so nice and natural! she`s a real pretty lil` princess!! maybe i shall scan the photos and post in on friendster?? should see if i`m lazy or not 1st... why do i suddenly sound as if i`ve cheered up?? must be because i mentioned about natelie. aiyo.. she`s so cute!!! okay, i know i just sound like a paedophile... pathetic and deprived. but who cares lahs hor???
terry, your intention may not be my intention... i never say i wanted you in the 1st place. wahaha... do not misunderstand my intention and don`t gao po huai ah!!! LOL!!!
12:23 AM
out of bounds by leaps*
*yi bo wei ping yi bo you qi
i've had enough, there`s nothing i can do or say.
thanks for the consolation raymond. i know you meant well apart from the lousy jokes. yu jia and angela also, sorry to make you both suffer with me. dar, cheer up, don`t keep things from me, we are best friends okay???
the events flowed just like a drama serial. what a rundown!!! these do happen in reality. i believe now. am i cursed or what??? i`m washed out emotionally and physically. what do i intend to do? well seriously i`m lost too. i don`t know either. where is the multi-storey carpark???
busy as a bumble bee today. anyhow, i got my goodie bag!! nice nice!! went bugis with angela, yu jia and natalie cutie pie. haha!!! we went to take photos and well, i`m so surprised how marvellous she`s at in posing for the camera, should learn from her in the future. so nice and natural! she`s a real pretty lil` princess!! maybe i shall scan the photos and post in on friendster?? should see if i`m lazy or not 1st... why do i suddenly sound as if i`ve cheered up?? must be because i mentioned about natelie. aiyo.. she`s so cute!!! okay, i know i just sound like a paedophile... pathetic and deprived. but who cares lahs hor???
terry, your intention may not be my intention... i never say i wanted you in the 1st place. wahaha... do not misunderstand my intention and don`t gao po huai ah!!! LOL!!!
posted by SERENiFiED PRiNCESS on 12:23 AM
Monday, March 27, 2006
currently out of house, at somewhere i dread to be at. but i guess if my sacrifice can exchange for someone`s happiness, i don`t mind. this is so typically me.
sinking into deep thoughts again. my future seems so bleak, so distant. i should and i want to further my studies, but when will be the right time?? my cousin`s offering me a permanent admin job in her cousin`s company. asking me over for an interview soon. im still considering. life is really full of dilenmas, so many contradictions and "tom dick harry" to handle. i`m gonna chickened out soon, most probably. what a big headache!!!
i feel like a drifting raft, initially with ropes attached but currently the ropes had loosened, due to the strong currents along the banks of the river???
backed home now...
met up with raymond for the 1st time just now. haha.. he was crappy and a good entertainer. shall meet up to dine more often and may be ask him get me some nice wine to try. lol!! sent yu jia home just now. i think i getting braver already. =)
tomoorow gonna wake up early to accompany yu jia to school and go for a morning jog after that with angela. tomorrow`s really busy for me. after jogging gonna help my mum to buy some fruits. in the afternoon i still need to go get my cd goodie bag from wrkz91.3 team. well, no time to pant. have an appointment with nsc at 3 plus. later in the late afternoon gotta meet up with yu jia and angela and little pretty natalie at bugis. i adore kids! 1st time going shopping with natalie. gonna snap some photos i think. for the time being, i gonna get to bed for fear i cant`t wake up punctually in the morning. hehes..
hmmm... bleahs..
8:21 PM
currently out of house, at somewhere i dread to be at. but i guess if my sacrifice can exchange for someone`s happiness, i don`t mind. this is so typically me.
sinking into deep thoughts again. my future seems so bleak, so distant. i should and i want to further my studies, but when will be the right time?? my cousin`s offering me a permanent admin job in her cousin`s company. asking me over for an interview soon. im still considering. life is really full of dilenmas, so many contradictions and "tom dick harry" to handle. i`m gonna chickened out soon, most probably. what a big headache!!!
i feel like a drifting raft, initially with ropes attached but currently the ropes had loosened, due to the strong currents along the banks of the river???
backed home now...
met up with raymond for the 1st time just now. haha.. he was crappy and a good entertainer. shall meet up to dine more often and may be ask him get me some nice wine to try. lol!! sent yu jia home just now. i think i getting braver already. =)
tomoorow gonna wake up early to accompany yu jia to school and go for a morning jog after that with angela. tomorrow`s really busy for me. after jogging gonna help my mum to buy some fruits. in the afternoon i still need to go get my cd goodie bag from wrkz91.3 team. well, no time to pant. have an appointment with nsc at 3 plus. later in the late afternoon gotta meet up with yu jia and angela and little pretty natalie at bugis. i adore kids! 1st time going shopping with natalie. gonna snap some photos i think. for the time being, i gonna get to bed for fear i cant`t wake up punctually in the morning. hehes..
hmmm... bleahs..
posted by SERENiFiED PRiNCESS on 8:21 PM
Sunday, March 26, 2006
saw mr or ms anonymous`s tag and got reminded jx again. who is jx??? i tried to delete the name in my memory but looks like it`s a mission impossible. i went to re-read his past blogging entries. he said he wanted to take care of me forever and that "dear will always be my dear, girl will always be my girl". why does`nt this stand anymore?? i admit i`m too rash. i should`nt return IT to him. i should`nt force myself to say the words i hate to. i really blame myself. perhaps it`s a fact that his love for me does`nt exist anymore, that`s why when i asked for a reconcilation he denied me. i`m a silly girl i know. my heart is too soft that`s why i always hurt myself. an opportunity meant so much to him then, so is to me. but i was`nt privileged to receive one. it`s fated i think, so i don`t wanna dwell too deep into this again. if he really loves me, he will find me back, no matter how far the distance is. i dread seeing him now no matter how much i wanted to take even a look at him, to see how`s he doing. he won`t even say hi i supposed. i don`t even dare to ask angela about him nowadays. perhaps i should move to somewhere really very far away, a neverland... why am i feeling so teribble again??? nevertheless, i tried to fight to gain back my hapiness so at least i won`t regret anymore. reminiscing about it, it`s kinda funny actually, asking him to makeover but in the end i still love him even he does`nt maintain that appearance anymore. haha.. the 1st time see him styling his hair looks kinda weird `cos no guys had ever did that for me. hmmm... really wondering is his life better off without me??? he said i gave him too much pressure to handle. did i really??? oh man, i`m really a meanie am i?? that day delrick called me. we just chatted casually until he asked if i blamed him last time? come to think of it, i did`nt really blamed him `cos i know he had a hard time bearing with my stupid bad temper. but this time i don`t know whether i should blame myself or what `cos i did change my bad temper. hais, whatever bahs. i hope one day he will talk to me again. listening to the first song i sent him before we ended up together. does he still remember the song???
let me ask a neutral party, mr or ms anonymous, what do you think i should do??? just pretend that i don`t know him or just be normal when i see him or how should i react??? do you think this jx will still want me as a friend even if he does`nt want a reconcilation anymore???
terry, you are a man lehs, don`t expect too much from a little girl like me hor! lols!!!
12:46 PM
saw mr or ms anonymous`s tag and got reminded jx again. who is jx??? i tried to delete the name in my memory but looks like it`s a mission impossible. i went to re-read his past blogging entries. he said he wanted to take care of me forever and that "dear will always be my dear, girl will always be my girl". why does`nt this stand anymore?? i admit i`m too rash. i should`nt return IT to him. i should`nt force myself to say the words i hate to. i really blame myself. perhaps it`s a fact that his love for me does`nt exist anymore, that`s why when i asked for a reconcilation he denied me. i`m a silly girl i know. my heart is too soft that`s why i always hurt myself. an opportunity meant so much to him then, so is to me. but i was`nt privileged to receive one. it`s fated i think, so i don`t wanna dwell too deep into this again. if he really loves me, he will find me back, no matter how far the distance is. i dread seeing him now no matter how much i wanted to take even a look at him, to see how`s he doing. he won`t even say hi i supposed. i don`t even dare to ask angela about him nowadays. perhaps i should move to somewhere really very far away, a neverland... why am i feeling so teribble again??? nevertheless, i tried to fight to gain back my hapiness so at least i won`t regret anymore. reminiscing about it, it`s kinda funny actually, asking him to makeover but in the end i still love him even he does`nt maintain that appearance anymore. haha.. the 1st time see him styling his hair looks kinda weird `cos no guys had ever did that for me. hmmm... really wondering is his life better off without me??? he said i gave him too much pressure to handle. did i really??? oh man, i`m really a meanie am i?? that day delrick called me. we just chatted casually until he asked if i blamed him last time? come to think of it, i did`nt really blamed him `cos i know he had a hard time bearing with my stupid bad temper. but this time i don`t know whether i should blame myself or what `cos i did change my bad temper. hais, whatever bahs. i hope one day he will talk to me again. listening to the first song i sent him before we ended up together. does he still remember the song???
let me ask a neutral party, mr or ms anonymous, what do you think i should do??? just pretend that i don`t know him or just be normal when i see him or how should i react??? do you think this jx will still want me as a friend even if he does`nt want a reconcilation anymore???
terry, you are a man lehs, don`t expect too much from a little girl like me hor! lols!!!
posted by SERENiFiED PRiNCESS on 12:46 PM
Saturday, March 25, 2006
last day of work today. jobless for the time being. LOL! well, this morning took iskandar`s bike to work. so wobbly on the bike `cos you cant expect me to hug him right?? haha.. almost fell off the bike! today's job was chicken feet to me. typing only!!! *weets* got aircon somemore. went out with claire and small desmond after work. was neoprint-crazy again so we went to take some pictures! i love neoprints! will miss my colleagues.
staring at the starry night just now. so much blues. hope she`s feeling better now.
tranquility. my aim.
terry is a big bad wolf.
i hope she'll be alright... i pray really hard. i`m stressed till i have gastric problems again. i can`t sleep. i`m worried. perhaps i should take another a look at her tomorrow morning. will god grant her the wishes??? please protect her.
tomorrow`s gonna be my last day at work. kinda reluctant to leave my colleagues but i don`t think i can hold out any longer in this sucky job. i want a job with better prospects so i can fund my own studies and not let my parents worry. i`m on my way alone now. i gotta help myself.
terry, what exactly are your intentions??? i doubt.. don`t use honey words on me. i don`t want to see or hear. don`t hurt me. i will not believe you.
11:31 PM
last day of work today. jobless for the time being. LOL! well, this morning took iskandar`s bike to work. so wobbly on the bike `cos you cant expect me to hug him right?? haha.. almost fell off the bike! today's job was chicken feet to me. typing only!!! *weets* got aircon somemore. went out with claire and small desmond after work. was neoprint-crazy again so we went to take some pictures! i love neoprints! will miss my colleagues.
staring at the starry night just now. so much blues. hope she`s feeling better now.
tranquility. my aim.
terry is a big bad wolf.
posted by SERENiFiED PRiNCESS on 11:31 PM
2:20 AM
i hope she'll be alright... i pray really hard. i`m stressed till i have gastric problems again. i can`t sleep. i`m worried. perhaps i should take another a look at her tomorrow morning. will god grant her the wishes??? please protect her.
tomorrow`s gonna be my last day at work. kinda reluctant to leave my colleagues but i don`t think i can hold out any longer in this sucky job. i want a job with better prospects so i can fund my own studies and not let my parents worry. i`m on my way alone now. i gotta help myself.
terry, what exactly are your intentions??? i doubt.. don`t use honey words on me. i don`t want to see or hear. don`t hurt me. i will not believe you.
posted by SERENiFiED PRiNCESS on 2:20 AM
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
these few days were busy! been to work at the warehouse. well, most of the time we were slacking. hell like, the place was super hot! bad ventilation! well, as mentioned, it`s a warehouse, so how comfy can the working environment is? when desmond was around, we took super long breaks, 3 times in 9 hours. then we were playing soccer inside the warehouse!!! but most likely this will be my last week with sportslink. don`t intend to work retail hours anymore. it`s too hectic!
met up with zhutou yesterday to accompany her for dinner. she`s flying to taiwan this friday. remember my goody goodies okay??? kekes... came back at around ten plus because angela said she wanted to pass me something. *SURPRISE* she came with yu jia and... A PIGLET SOFT TOY(huggable size). haha... thanks. i`m really okay already so do not need to worry about me the 2 of you. indeed very touched. so i gave up the hello panda biscuits i bought to yu jia. i see the piglet and i look into the mirror. well, look exactly the same. ahem, i mean as cute as me. *pukes*
hmmm... as for today i went shopping at bugis alone after my job interview before meeting up with helen at town. have a great chat and went party world to sing!! haha!!! i missed and i love singing. just the 2 of us so it`s rather worth it. somemore at a student price thanks to helen`s student pass!!! i really missed having a valid student pass!!! it does wonders! so please cherish it while you still possess it! LOL! now i have vouchers so the next time i go, i can enjoy discounts again. cool! =))) dined at cineleisure before making my way back. told helen maybe one day i go over to her house to stay over. then we can really chat all night! still have to go to pearl`s hostel and xiaoyan`s house. haha!! so fun!!
thank you to those who accompanied me the last few weeks and cheered me up. i will bear them in mind. yanfang`s back!
and stupid terry can stop lying to me. i won`t believe you...
11:00 PM
these few days were busy! been to work at the warehouse. well, most of the time we were slacking. hell like, the place was super hot! bad ventilation! well, as mentioned, it`s a warehouse, so how comfy can the working environment is? when desmond was around, we took super long breaks, 3 times in 9 hours. then we were playing soccer inside the warehouse!!! but most likely this will be my last week with sportslink. don`t intend to work retail hours anymore. it`s too hectic!
met up with zhutou yesterday to accompany her for dinner. she`s flying to taiwan this friday. remember my goody goodies okay??? kekes... came back at around ten plus because angela said she wanted to pass me something. *SURPRISE* she came with yu jia and... A PIGLET SOFT TOY(huggable size). haha... thanks. i`m really okay already so do not need to worry about me the 2 of you. indeed very touched. so i gave up the hello panda biscuits i bought to yu jia. i see the piglet and i look into the mirror. well, look exactly the same. ahem, i mean as cute as me. *pukes*
hmmm... as for today i went shopping at bugis alone after my job interview before meeting up with helen at town. have a great chat and went party world to sing!! haha!!! i missed and i love singing. just the 2 of us so it`s rather worth it. somemore at a student price thanks to helen`s student pass!!! i really missed having a valid student pass!!! it does wonders! so please cherish it while you still possess it! LOL! now i have vouchers so the next time i go, i can enjoy discounts again. cool! =))) dined at cineleisure before making my way back. told helen maybe one day i go over to her house to stay over. then we can really chat all night! still have to go to pearl`s hostel and xiaoyan`s house. haha!! so fun!!
thank you to those who accompanied me the last few weeks and cheered me up. i will bear them in mind. yanfang`s back!
and stupid terry can stop lying to me. i won`t believe you...
posted by SERENiFiED PRiNCESS on 11:00 PM
Saturday, March 18, 2006
i read through my previous blog entries. how sweet. i`m beginning to miss the days again. i don`t want to forget. i want you to come back. but i know it`s hard on you so it`s no use asking you again. i know i`ve to let go soon already, because you no longer hold the string anymore i think. it`s meaningless for me to hang on i supposed. many advised me to give up but i just refused to. against all odds. i`m still in a dilenma. should i just give up now... i`m so silly...
the line ended. but will it continue??? it`s really up to you.
i`m willing to be silly(sha gua) once more. will you be willing to be stupid(ben dan) again???
3 months is`nt a long time. we let go too fast. really... can`t we even pass this test???
been wanting to change the layout for ages. finally found the skin i want! hurrays!!! hunting for it for weeks already. what do you folks think of the new layout???
by the way, life`s still the same for me. one word. BORING. drank quite alot recently. have to really put a stop to it. joseph smsed me today asking about my life and i told him what i think. well, i`m rather glad to read his sms. a matured one. thanks pal, gonna meet him up tomorrow though. these few days i really have to thank angela and yu jia for their attention and time. i`m happy to see yu jia smiling like mad again. guessed i`ve made an impact on her by telling her from my experiences. i do hope that she will remember my words. =)
oh yes, escape was fun! gonna fully utilise the free ticket the next time. if not, the original price we have to pay is so damn costly! =Xxx
oh ya, realised that me and raymond are rather similar kind of people. lols... well raymond, always look on the bright side of life. and please for goodness sake, go get some beauty sleep! don`t want to see a walking zombie in hougang. Xpxp
okies dokies, off to bed. my biological clock`s upside down again. good night ladies and gentleman.
1:06 PM
i read through my previous blog entries. how sweet. i`m beginning to miss the days again. i don`t want to forget. i want you to come back. but i know it`s hard on you so it`s no use asking you again. i know i`ve to let go soon already, because you no longer hold the string anymore i think. it`s meaningless for me to hang on i supposed. many advised me to give up but i just refused to. against all odds. i`m still in a dilenma. should i just give up now... i`m so silly...
the line ended. but will it continue??? it`s really up to you.
i`m willing to be silly(sha gua) once more. will you be willing to be stupid(ben dan) again???
3 months is`nt a long time. we let go too fast. really... can`t we even pass this test???
posted by SERENiFiED PRiNCESS on 1:06 PM
2:38 AM
been wanting to change the layout for ages. finally found the skin i want! hurrays!!! hunting for it for weeks already. what do you folks think of the new layout???
by the way, life`s still the same for me. one word. BORING. drank quite alot recently. have to really put a stop to it. joseph smsed me today asking about my life and i told him what i think. well, i`m rather glad to read his sms. a matured one. thanks pal, gonna meet him up tomorrow though. these few days i really have to thank angela and yu jia for their attention and time. i`m happy to see yu jia smiling like mad again. guessed i`ve made an impact on her by telling her from my experiences. i do hope that she will remember my words. =)
oh yes, escape was fun! gonna fully utilise the free ticket the next time. if not, the original price we have to pay is so damn costly! =Xxx
oh ya, realised that me and raymond are rather similar kind of people. lols... well raymond, always look on the bright side of life. and please for goodness sake, go get some beauty sleep! don`t want to see a walking zombie in hougang. Xpxp
okies dokies, off to bed. my biological clock`s upside down again. good night ladies and gentleman.
posted by SERENiFiED PRiNCESS on 2:38 AM
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
gulped a bottle of bercardi breezer an hour ago. but problems still unsolved and my heart still aches. why are these happening to me at the same time? just f*** off the 2 Ts. don`t disturb me now! and i mean it `cause i`m turning crazy already! get it???
12:43 AM
gulped a bottle of bercardi breezer an hour ago. but problems still unsolved and my heart still aches. why are these happening to me at the same time? just f*** off the 2 Ts. don`t disturb me now! and i mean it `cause i`m turning crazy already! get it???
posted by SERENiFiED PRiNCESS on 12:43 AM
Monday, March 13, 2006
gastric problems continue to haunt me. perhaps just let me die of that. i don`t want my life anymore.
was on the phone with a few people just now. just hung up not long ago. standing at the corridor listening to the phone and the wind. so peaceful and quiet. just for that moment. earlier on i was reading my folder messages from him. yes, just reminscing was nice enough. i smiled to my handphone, somewhat like an idiot like that. i still keep the messages and i won`t delete them unless i have to. let them serve as a memory for me. nice sweet ones. i know i may not receive them anymore so all the more i treasure. as long as i know he`s fine i`m fine too. but again who really knows? i have a balloon in my house now. and it reminds me of many things again too. should i throw it away??? or i should throw myself away. i don`t know what i`m saying. i can`t sleep again regardless of how tired i am now. i`m quitting soon. real soon.
i have to save her.
and next, myself.
1:50 AM
gastric problems continue to haunt me. perhaps just let me die of that. i don`t want my life anymore.
was on the phone with a few people just now. just hung up not long ago. standing at the corridor listening to the phone and the wind. so peaceful and quiet. just for that moment. earlier on i was reading my folder messages from him. yes, just reminscing was nice enough. i smiled to my handphone, somewhat like an idiot like that. i still keep the messages and i won`t delete them unless i have to. let them serve as a memory for me. nice sweet ones. i know i may not receive them anymore so all the more i treasure. as long as i know he`s fine i`m fine too. but again who really knows? i have a balloon in my house now. and it reminds me of many things again too. should i throw it away??? or i should throw myself away. i don`t know what i`m saying. i can`t sleep again regardless of how tired i am now. i`m quitting soon. real soon.
i have to save her.
and next, myself.
posted by SERENiFiED PRiNCESS on 1:50 AM
Sunday, March 12, 2006
i went on air on wkrz 91.3 yesterday with the host marilyn lee!!! thought of just calling for fun but guessed what? the 1st time i called, i got through!!! unbelievable!! anyways by answering the question correctly, i won myself a cd hamper thingy. great! and i made a song dedication to my colleagues and friends. it`s so nervous for me but definitely it's a rare experience, so i`ll keep it in mind! went out today with my friends. first thing in the morning was breakfast then went to cut my hair. yup! i think i look better again! weets for myself! met up with meihua and jasmine later to go to suntec city to get something. walked till my legs rot i swear. and guess who i met? delrick. lols. saw him last saturday at suntec city also. what a coindence?! anyways, today i received a pooh bear. so cute!!! later part of the day met up with wilson for dinner. poor him, he`s so sick. so vonne must take good care of him now. heheSs.. off to bed now. no ga ga bad dreams tonight please. good nite.
12:54 AM
i went on air on wkrz 91.3 yesterday with the host marilyn lee!!! thought of just calling for fun but guessed what? the 1st time i called, i got through!!! unbelievable!! anyways by answering the question correctly, i won myself a cd hamper thingy. great! and i made a song dedication to my colleagues and friends. it`s so nervous for me but definitely it's a rare experience, so i`ll keep it in mind! went out today with my friends. first thing in the morning was breakfast then went to cut my hair. yup! i think i look better again! weets for myself! met up with meihua and jasmine later to go to suntec city to get something. walked till my legs rot i swear. and guess who i met? delrick. lols. saw him last saturday at suntec city also. what a coindence?! anyways, today i received a pooh bear. so cute!!! later part of the day met up with wilson for dinner. poor him, he`s so sick. so vonne must take good care of him now. heheSs.. off to bed now. no ga ga bad dreams tonight please. good nite.
posted by SERENiFiED PRiNCESS on 12:54 AM
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
i fell. but this time he`s not gonna be here to give me a hand, not anymore. he denied the miracle, he denied me, he denied destiny. my tears had run dry, the blood stains unremoved. glitters of the fireworks were history, devastation of the aftermath presumes. flowers used to bloom but now they choked in the rain. 2 lovebirds used to flock together but only 1 perch on the tree now. the perfume smell still feels the room but the feeling differs.
wo hai ji de wo men de yue ding, yi bei zi xing fu de yue ding.. ni ne???
just wondering why the unhappy things keeps on befalling on me. HARD. i can`t stay calm, i can`t pretend any longer. why must i pretend? pretence is always not my cup of tea, there will always be loopholes. i`m so weary. i empathised with myself. i see no point of survival. i tried but i never succeed. i`m smothered. i`m on the verge of breaking into fragments. i`m just a pathetic dumping ground for the pain and sorrows. i feel like escaping too. but i hate it. who really understands??? it was`nt easy to climb up but now i slip again. i`m watching happiness seeping through my fingers like it did in an hourglass.
I DON`T WANT ANY TOMMY OR TERRY GET IT??? U KNOW IT BETTER. THINK OF YOUR HAPPINESS, THINK OF MINE. BE A MAN AND DO THE RIGHT THING. FEAR-LESS.
i don`t want to say anymore. i`m depressed.
a test of true love.
10:37 PM
i fell. but this time he`s not gonna be here to give me a hand, not anymore. he denied the miracle, he denied me, he denied destiny. my tears had run dry, the blood stains unremoved. glitters of the fireworks were history, devastation of the aftermath presumes. flowers used to bloom but now they choked in the rain. 2 lovebirds used to flock together but only 1 perch on the tree now. the perfume smell still feels the room but the feeling differs.
wo hai ji de wo men de yue ding, yi bei zi xing fu de yue ding.. ni ne???
just wondering why the unhappy things keeps on befalling on me. HARD. i can`t stay calm, i can`t pretend any longer. why must i pretend? pretence is always not my cup of tea, there will always be loopholes. i`m so weary. i empathised with myself. i see no point of survival. i tried but i never succeed. i`m smothered. i`m on the verge of breaking into fragments. i`m just a pathetic dumping ground for the pain and sorrows. i feel like escaping too. but i hate it. who really understands??? it was`nt easy to climb up but now i slip again. i`m watching happiness seeping through my fingers like it did in an hourglass.
I DON`T WANT ANY TOMMY OR TERRY GET IT??? U KNOW IT BETTER. THINK OF YOUR HAPPINESS, THINK OF MINE. BE A MAN AND DO THE RIGHT THING. FEAR-LESS.
i don`t want to say anymore. i`m depressed.
a test of true love.
posted by SERENiFiED PRiNCESS on 10:37 PM
Monday, March 06, 2006
redeemed 2 haagen daz vouchers a week plus ago. just received it. supposed to be used to reward myself and jx since he`s sick and stuff nowadays. however.. i think there`s a very low possibilty already. so i decided to reward myself and angela instead `cos this whole week she's here for me. haven`t got a good appetite the last one week. hopefully i will have the appetite to indulge tomorrow! by the way.. thanks to my friends who have been supporting me along the way, people like dar, pearl, angela, yujia and kl.. and to people who showed me concern. i`m actually still feeling extremely upset. i`m trying so hard to hide it sometimes. the more i laugh means the more upset i`m feeling, usually this case. but just let me be. i can`t describe the agony and helplessness inside me. i feel like icing myself to death so i`ll feel numb with the pain i`m going through. seriously, nobody can feel exactly how i feel, losing a love and losing a battle accademically at the same period of time. pouring cold water over a burning flame. this is it. when i think i`m burning at the peak, the cold water just splashed me wet and cold. and the flame died out instantly. i just feel that devastation`s just hovering about me and is going to hit me straight at the bull`s eye!
i want to fight for my own happiness because i think it`s worth the price. i`m willing to give up things just for you. u made it happened and now you denied my happiness. can you tell yourself what you want to do? `cos i`ve decided all i want is you. we are so near yet so far. i dreamt of you every other night and that`s no kidding about it. i`ve hit the point where i want you back so much yet my energies are all so drained. can you feel it??? i just want to be with you. i just want to build hapiness with you. i just hope you`ll wake up soon. i really want to see you smile as before again. reply me will you??
the song SAY YOU LOVE ME by QI DUO HUA says it all..
1:16 AM
redeemed 2 haagen daz vouchers a week plus ago. just received it. supposed to be used to reward myself and jx since he`s sick and stuff nowadays. however.. i think there`s a very low possibilty already. so i decided to reward myself and angela instead `cos this whole week she's here for me. haven`t got a good appetite the last one week. hopefully i will have the appetite to indulge tomorrow! by the way.. thanks to my friends who have been supporting me along the way, people like dar, pearl, angela, yujia and kl.. and to people who showed me concern. i`m actually still feeling extremely upset. i`m trying so hard to hide it sometimes. the more i laugh means the more upset i`m feeling, usually this case. but just let me be. i can`t describe the agony and helplessness inside me. i feel like icing myself to death so i`ll feel numb with the pain i`m going through. seriously, nobody can feel exactly how i feel, losing a love and losing a battle accademically at the same period of time. pouring cold water over a burning flame. this is it. when i think i`m burning at the peak, the cold water just splashed me wet and cold. and the flame died out instantly. i just feel that devastation`s just hovering about me and is going to hit me straight at the bull`s eye!
i want to fight for my own happiness because i think it`s worth the price. i`m willing to give up things just for you. u made it happened and now you denied my happiness. can you tell yourself what you want to do? `cos i`ve decided all i want is you. we are so near yet so far. i dreamt of you every other night and that`s no kidding about it. i`ve hit the point where i want you back so much yet my energies are all so drained. can you feel it??? i just want to be with you. i just want to build hapiness with you. i just hope you`ll wake up soon. i really want to see you smile as before again. reply me will you??
the song SAY YOU LOVE ME by QI DUO HUA says it all..
posted by SERENiFiED PRiNCESS on 1:16 AM
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
think it`s all over unless he creates a miracle. feeling so lost the last few days. even in the midst of blogging right now. my mind`s so flooded with memories. history. was supposed to pass the last letter from me to him to angela at mac, but saw him appeared instead. just surprised. purposely chose a time whereby he went home already but did`nt expect to bump into him. he must have felt so awkward too.but at least i saw him and know that he`s okay at the moment. frankly speaking, although things are no longer fine for us, i`d still care so much for him. i did`nt want to say so actually. i`m still worried if he`s still over working, eating proper meals and getting enough rest. all the while. i miss him. think i should stop being so dumb. we won`t be back together again will we??? reading my inbox messages and felt like we just started yesterday. remember i was all smiles then. guys out there, cherish your girl, make her feel loved and secured, make her happy, make her feel important... these are what a simple little woman needed. if she asks for more, well, kick her man, she`s too greedy. at least i think i`m still the simple little woman of yesterday. goodbye my love.
i gave chances readily without questioning but where`s mine when i really need one???
upsetted.
we need not avoid each other. we are still as before---joking and having fun. but as the status of friends. we`ll still pick up calls from each other and reply each other`s smses. alright??? that`s how friends are supposed to be... so i`ll treat you as another best friend.
1:52 AM
think it`s all over unless he creates a miracle. feeling so lost the last few days. even in the midst of blogging right now. my mind`s so flooded with memories. history. was supposed to pass the last letter from me to him to angela at mac, but saw him appeared instead. just surprised. purposely chose a time whereby he went home already but did`nt expect to bump into him. he must have felt so awkward too.but at least i saw him and know that he`s okay at the moment. frankly speaking, although things are no longer fine for us, i`d still care so much for him. i did`nt want to say so actually. i`m still worried if he`s still over working, eating proper meals and getting enough rest. all the while. i miss him. think i should stop being so dumb. we won`t be back together again will we??? reading my inbox messages and felt like we just started yesterday. remember i was all smiles then. guys out there, cherish your girl, make her feel loved and secured, make her happy, make her feel important... these are what a simple little woman needed. if she asks for more, well, kick her man, she`s too greedy. at least i think i`m still the simple little woman of yesterday. goodbye my love.
i gave chances readily without questioning but where`s mine when i really need one???
upsetted.
we need not avoid each other. we are still as before---joking and having fun. but as the status of friends. we`ll still pick up calls from each other and reply each other`s smses. alright??? that`s how friends are supposed to be... so i`ll treat you as another best friend.
posted by SERENiFiED PRiNCESS on 1:52 AM